| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2010|12:12 am] |
Today my GIS mapping teacher asked me how my job hunt was going. She's the girlfriend and a co-worker of the guy who runs the Monroe County Crime Analysis Center and who teaches the other courses in my Crime Analysis sequence. I had sent him an email last week asking for some help in finding entry level work and evidently they have spoken about it.
Needless to say, it was weird to think about the notion that I am, in fact, searching for a job. I'm searching for a career. Between police exams and trying to find a crime analyst position, it's weird to think that not only do I not know what I'll be doing in 4 months, I don't even know what I *want* to be doing. "Time grabs you by the wrist/Directs you where to go." I'm really just hoping at this point that A) I'll have something nailed down by the end of May and B) It'll be something I maybe want to do.
Quite honestly though, I'll be content with a steady paycheck. If there is one thing I've learned about myself this year, it is that I love playing hockey and I don't want to live without it. If I can make enough coin to put food in my mouth and my stupid ass on the ice, I'll be happy. A year ago I was thinking about throwing in the towel. I was having too many problems with my feet and thought that maybe I just wasn't built to play at a higher level. But I worked hard all summer and bought new skates that fit better and now I'm improving every week. Every week I develop a new skill that makes me a better player. It's a great feeling after having stagnated for 3 years or so. And with my dabbling in goaltending I've really found my passion for the sport. Not only do I enjoy it but I seem to have a natural talent for it which has made playing even more fun. Which is why, no matter where I end up, I need to find *some* way to keep playing.
I've gained a lot of new friends this year because of hockey too. If I have to leave the Rochester area I really will be losing a great group of men and women that have become the bulk of my social life this year. It'll be rough leaving that behind, regardless of how well the internet is at keeping people in touch these days. The unfortunate realities of growing up I suppose.
Does the looming uncertainty bother me? Not really. I actually kind of like it. Not knowing might be a little irresponsible, but it keeps things interesting. The sky really is the limit, and that's exciting.
Graduation, May 22nd, is going to be terrifying, depressing and exciting all at the same time.
Just the way I like it. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2010|01:00 am] |
I been drinkin' and smokin' cigarettes.
I been lookin' for a woman I have not met.
I have not found her yet.
Til' I do it's a sure fire bet.
I'll be drinkin' and smokin cigarettes!
oh new Reverend Horton Heat album, I love thee. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2010|12:22 am] |
|
I think a lot of my friends think more highly of me than I do. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2010|05:00 am] |
If I could describe my life in one adjective, it would be under-appreciated.
Thank god I still have hockey and beer to make me happy.
I want summer and motorcycle and graduation. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2009|04:20 pm] |
"When a warrior is in service, however, to a True King-that is, to a transcendent cause-he does well, and his body becomes a hardworking servant, which he requires to endure cold, heat, pain, wounds, scarring, hunger, lack of sleep, hardship of all kinds. The body usually responds well. The person in touch with warrior energy can work long hours, ignore fatigue, do what is necessary, finish the Ph.D. and all the footnotes, endure obnoxious department heads, live sparsely like Ralph Nader, write as T.S. Eliot did under a single dangling bulb for years, clean up shit and filth endlessly like Saint Francis or Mother Teresa, endure contempt, disdain, and exile as Sakharov did. A clawed hand takes the comfort-loving baby away, and an adult warrior inhabits the body."
I'm glad college is almost over. It has been far too long since I've had the drive to achieve; a "King" to serve. I miss the days of sleepless nights, working fingers to the bone, driving home in a sleep deprived coma. The times I felt the most exhausted were the times I felt the most alive and purposeful. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|01:42 am] |
"The imitation lives we see on TV and in the movies whisper the ideas that human existence consists of revelations and abrupt changes of heart; by the time we've reached full adulthood, I think, this is an idea that on some level we have come to accept. Such things may happen from time to time, but I think that for the most part it's a lie. Life's changes come slowly."...
..."The world rarely finishes its conversations." |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2009|10:27 pm] |
|
The older I get, the more I find that I am going sane. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|01:58 am] |
|
My wild imagination/philosophy/disjointed-day-dream brain parts are sorely in need of a 4+ hour cup of coffee at Tim Horton's with anyone who can spare the time. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2009|03:43 am] |
I haven't felt this way...
I've never felt this strong....
I feel every bit of it.
It's super low. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|08:18 pm] |
|
I need a little spark or something. The last few weeks I've been stuck in a funk where I have no desire to really do...anything. Maybe I'm not getting enough exercise? Maybe I need to change up my diet? I don't know. All I know is it's not helping me get any work done when I just want to sit and stare into space. I need to break out of this somehow. I feel lethargic. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2009|12:28 am] |
|
I hate days like this. Too much of the wrong kind of brain'n. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2009|11:38 pm] |
Step 1: Buy a box Step 2: Open the box Step 3: Put your bike in the box Motorbike in a box I got a bike in a box yeahhhh It's my bike in a box 
okay maybe there's a few boxes... =-x
|
|
|
| Only memories, fading memories / Blending into dull tableaux |
[May. 27th, 2009|12:40 am] |
Moving sucks. It's not that it's a pain in the ass, it's the idea of tearing down years worth of collected memories and leaving them behind in a day. It never hits until you start taking things off the walls. This is how I judge if an occupied space is legitimate or not; how much shit is on the walls. You can move all the furniture out of a room and it'll still be that room so long as the walls have something on them, but as soon as the walls are bare, it's not a room anymore. It's just a space. Two years worth of memories torn down off the walls in a night; two years of RIT hockey posters, fliers, tickets, and schedules; two years of Flogging Molly Tickets; two years of Invasion of Normandy Memorabilia; two years of slug adorned Sabres merch, a reminder of two bad seasons; and various posters and artwork that I've collected since I was a freshman.
Come Sunday night I'll be moved into my new house with the opportunity to coat new walls with a year's worth of shit, and then in 12 months, I'll move again, tearing it all down. It won't be as bad as leaving this house; one year isn't enough time to get attached.
The real issue though, is what the hell am I gonna do with this 8 foot tall Cave Hollow street sign? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2009|03:36 am] |
One day I hope to be a solver of the mysteries of life. The first mystery I would like to solve is that of sleep. I would like to find that magical correlation between need to be asleep/awake with relation to actually being able to sleep/stay awake. I would like to know what mysterious force decides when I am and am not, tired. If there were a flowchart, I feel it would attempt to go something like this:
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2009|06:20 pm] |
I find that when I have a hard time getting work done, it can be for any number of reasons. Often times when I don't get enough exercise I have a hard time focusing on the task at hand, instead finding myself day dreaming of any number of things. This is usually the stage I experience around week three of a quarter, when the fresh, newness, of classes has warn off and my brain begins looking for more interesting things to think about. I want to read interesting books, and write, and draw; I'm not lethargic, just twitchy.
The past few weeks have been the exact opposite and it has left me wondering whether there is any amount of coffee, healthy eating, and exercise in the world that can make me want to do...anything. No matter how much sleep I get I do not feel rested, and the same goes for my brain. I am not lost in day dream all day; I am lost in nothing. I feel as though if my brain had eyes, it would constantly be rubbing them, trying to make them clear. There is no energy in my body and it distresses me because there is no reason that I should not be energized and ready to take on the world every day.
My brain feels foggy. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2009|01:44 am] |
So a few weeks back I tweaked my left shoulder playing softball.
Twice since then, I have been sitting with my elbow on my desk, chin in hand, and sneezed.
I've tweaked my shoulder twice...by sneezing.
I better make sure I don't get a hernia from reading a book.
*facepalm* |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2009|09:21 pm] |
Oh, so Sunday was the 5 year anniversary of this thing. You poor assholes have been reading my crap for 5 years. Five Fucking Years.
Awesome. |
|
|
| Parts |
[Mar. 29th, 2009|12:02 pm] |
The artist formerly known as Motorcycle.
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|05:32 pm] |
Finally got to skate today. It's been way too long and I'm definitely out of shape. For as little shape as I was in before hockey season ended. It's too bad the rink wont be open much longer. Playoffs are soon and then they'll melt the ice for the summer and that'll be it. I gotta start thinking about other options.
The bicycle needs work. I barely rode it last summer because so much is wrong with it. Back rim is all bent, the seat is fucked, and it could use some new handlebars. We'll see. I just know I need to start getting in shape as soon as I can and the bike is important, since I'm not quite ready to run every day yet.
I also need to bitch about New York State real quick. Fuckers changed some laws this year and the Learn 2 Ride program has been delayed in opening registration. They've also started pushing back the course dates, so at this point I wont even be in a class until June. Which is crap. This motorcycle would be ready to ride a month before then if I were to stick with my current game plan. Looks like I'll be able to push it back, unfortunately. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2009|12:48 pm] |
The Tragically Hip are playing four shows at Artpark in June. Presale is on.
I must go.
Is there anyone who would like to see the Hip?
For $60. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
d4rksabre's journal